What's a Bridesmaid For? And Other Bridesmaids FAQs

December 12, 2017  •  Leave a Comment

What does a Bridesmaid do?

The modern bridesmaid has can take on a lot of different roles. They can be strictly for show, or they might have a designated task list. Either way, you should be up front about your expectations for your maids or you could end up disappointed. There is no “standard bridesmaid” so just like a job interview, make sure you talk about your expectations for their role when you ask someone to be your maid and let them know there will be no hard feelings if they don’t feel like they have the time to accept the position. If you bridal party activities might include destination bachelorette parties, spa days and bridesmaids dresses more than $200 than make sure you are being realistic with those expectations with everyone in your party. Even though it is your wedding, no one should go broke or feel pressured to spend money they can’t afford in the name of friendship.

 

Do you have to have as many bridesmaids as groomsmen?

As a rule - It’s your wedding so it's up to you.  But there is not a wedding rule that dictates there must be equal amounts of maids and men.  Adding girls to try to equal the grooms can result in a mix match of personalities as you scrape together enough girls to equal the guys.  Or cutting friends out of your wedding can result in hurt feelings.

 

How do I plan out everyone’s hair and makeup?

It depends on what everyone is planning on doing. But the general rule of thumb is 2 hours per person with 3 for the bride.  That includes an hour for hair and an hour for makeup if being done professionally.  Time management is especially important for weddings, but that means every girl needs to know how they want their hair and makeup before the wedding day. We see a lot of bridesmaids on their phones picking out hair and makeup styles twenty minutes before their turn with the beauticians. To avoid this plan a girls night and pick out hair and makeup together.  But remember, while the Bride can make suggestions, you shouldn’t be the ultimate decision maker on every girls makeup and hair details.

 

My maids and I planned a luxury spa trip, but some of my girls don’t have enough money and are backing out of the trip. I really wanted them to be part of my special day and it hurts that they didn’t plan ahead.

Life happens and sometimes we get caught off guard. Friends that could have reasonably put together a budget that had allowed them to participate might have been caught off guard by the end cost or other unexpected expenditures.  Bottom line, there is no reason to dismiss them as bridesmaids. Instead have a talk and make sure the wedding costs aren’t too much for them. No one should go broke trying to keep up with the events.

 

Do all the bridesmaids have to wear the same dress?

The days of matching bridesmaids dresses are on their way out.  More and more brides are opting to let their maids choose their own dresses - from anywhere.  Instead they usually go shopping together or with color and fabric choices.  This option is popular because each girl gets to choose a dress that they would wear again, they look great in, and they feel great in. It also gives variety to the group pictures, instead of a sea of certain color.

 

I want all my Bridesmaids to keep their shoes on all night. I don’t want bare feet all over my dance floor!

This is more common that you think.  There are two solutions to this problem.  1. Forgo the stiletto heels and choose a shoe that is super comfy. Maybe a wedge or an ankle boot.  2. If the heels are a must, let each girl bring a pair of neutral flats for dancing (which is a great idea anyways because alcohol, heels, dancing and long dresses are almost never a good combination.)

 

I am going to enforce a no alcohol policy among the bridal party.  I don’t want everyone to get trashed and embarrass me!

This is super tough. Imposing a rule like this makes your bridal party feel like they are being treated like children. But if you know your friends and know they like to really party, it might be worth having. The compromise? Ask the bridal party to only have 1-2 drinks an hour before the real party begins, and lead by example. By the time the dancing starts at most receptions, the less party oriented guests start to leave, and the ones that stay won’t be put off by harmless drunken shenanigans.

 

I’m having a DIY Pintrest wedding, but my maids aren’t keeping up with what they said they’d do. I’m stressing out about not having my decorations/invites/flowers/signs done.  What can I do?!

Pintrest is the devil. It’s all picture perfect, adorable and completely on trend. But it is easy to get lost and drown in too many projects. Well meaning friends might suddenly have other responsibilities or problems that take up the time they promised you, and that can hurt when it feels like a friend bailed. Call them and explain your stressing out and really need some help. As people volunteer assign duties. But if you find yourself alone on Pintrest island than there is another way. You can ask friends that aren’t in the bridal party, or maybe even family members.  If you are really stuck, than take a good look at what you absolutely must get done and what would be nice to get done. Eliminate projects that require a lot of hours or additional supplies, finish the ones you’ve already started, or change half finished projects into something more feasible.





 


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